I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize