Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
