My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
