So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
