you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize