found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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