Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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