If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
did i walk over a car last night?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize