apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
