What a fucking waste of an outfit
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
