the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
