is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
