Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
