i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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