She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
