I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
