3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
