i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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