There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize