Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
