my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
