i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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