i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
