matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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