Can Purell be used as lube?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
did i walk over a car last night?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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