Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
