U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
