these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
