There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
