He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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