She said her name was "party"
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
