and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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