All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
