i barfeds in our rink
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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