the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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