therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
