some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
