He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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