Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
