I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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