I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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