I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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