Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
