You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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