"it" just moved
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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