so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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