we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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