I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
