Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
