Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
