are you still at the devil's house?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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