Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
