Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
