dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
