Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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