once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm having to shit out rocks
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
