The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
