Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just found puke in my bra..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
