I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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