dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
