Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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