connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
PANTIES FOUND
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
