forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
