He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
try to milk me bitch
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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