How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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