i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
