seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
