I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
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