If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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