I'm eating all of the evidence.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
