if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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