Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize