every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
