I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
