i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think my moral compass just broke
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