Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
