Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
