Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
