went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
