Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
