Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
