I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
