google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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