Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
please come you make the beer taste better
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
