I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
