that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
