Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
