dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
