i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
