I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize