I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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