the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
