16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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