is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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