Fuck appropriateness.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
