You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize